If there is one thing that always makes me happy, it's knowing about someone's big goals. I love conversations with people about their dreams and aspirations and enjoy digging into what they want to do in life so much! We all have things we want to achieve, but big goals... That's a whole other ball game. And I love it!
But oh boy, if you're chasing your big goals right now, you know that's no easy task. Big goals make our hearts explode, and that's lovely, but here's the other side we usually don't talk about: they also make us anxious.
"It's not fear, it's excitement!" - they say. "Well, tell my body that!" - say I.
When we start setting our dream goals, it is exciting and thrilling, but also scary. As we walk towards achieving them, we're faced with reality, old fears coming to the surface, traumas we thought were sorted a long time ago, and embarrassing memories we deem proof that we can not make it.
That's when we start questioning our ability to get what we want and even our worthiness. Then, the big goals we thought we could achieve with the strategies and steps we set up to apply seem to be further and further away as our minds and bodies slow us down mercilessly.
This may happen for different reasons, but mainly due to three factors.
Even though it sounds counterintuitive, reason number one is protection. Uncertainty and the unknown are really triggering to our nervous system, especially if you have had traumatic experiences in the past. When your mind and body can not predict the outcome, they become alert and do their best to protect you from harm, just in case.
Reason number two is past experiences. We tend to look to the past for information, proof, and lessons, and we also carry past survival mechanisms that may not be useful to what we're trying to achieve. For example, if you are used to hiding away so you don't get attention (because that led to negative consequences in the past), and your goal requires you to show up and put the spotlight on yourself, you're most probably going to struggle with that and experience anxiety every time you try to put yourself out there.
There's also the fact that when you're trying to do something different from what you did in the past, looking back for proof or information to move forward can only take you so far.
If this resonates with you and you are starting to feel a bit uncomfortable, I invite you to take a deep breath and trust the process. We are about to look into how to manage this. Alright, here is reason number three: Social pressure.
If you have big goals and are actively pursuing them, you are one of the few people actually doing it. You probably noticed by now that people will have their opinion on what you are doing and how you are doing it, even though they have no idea because they have never experienced it the way you do. And then there's comparisonitis. In a world where we constantly have access to everyone's highlight moments, we can't help but fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. All this adds to the pressure you are already feeling from what we've discussed above and brings fear, anxiety, and worry.
But the good news is, it doesn't have to be like that! Here are three ways to manage the anxiety that comes with going after big goals:
#1 Make room for emotions.
For some of us, when we feel 'negative' emotions, the instinct is to override them so we can feel better quickly. And that usually means fighting and suppressing our feelings, which is the worst thing to do.
When we feel deep emotions, we must pay attention to them and validate our feelings immediately. If you do that - if you try that now - you'll feel almost an instant relief.
Making room for your emotions consistently allows you to address and release them as they show up, preventing you from being hit by an avalanche of overwhelming emotions when you least expect it.
The truth is that chasing big goals can generate intense feelings. Know that you are not alone in this, as they are a normal part of the journey, and give yourself the grace and validation you need. It gets easier as you become aware of it and implement the strategies we're addressing here.
#2 Allow space for more than your big goals in your life.
Do not become OBSESSED with your goals like many gurus say. Live your life because you only get one. Hang out with friends, breathe, and enjoy having hobbies. Obsession leads to constantly being "ON!" and only focusing on what you want to achieve in the future, and missing precious opportunities you can only experience when you are present.
Allowing space for more than your goals in life ensures you have somewhere to go when things don't go your way and eases that "all or nothing" mentality we sometimes fall victim to. It's okay not to be 'there' yet. Most of us aren't. We're all trying to figure life out. Once you truly get that, you release crazy amounts of pressure. But the thing is, you can only truly get it if you step outside.
Also, have you noticed how many magical insights and ideas you get when you relax and have fun? The portals that open up in your mind when you appreciate a work of art?! Any project in this Universe needs space to breathe, so allow your dreams to breathe and have fun!
#3 Stop pushing through. Be gentle with yourself instead.
I used to believe the only way to achieve something was by working hard and being tough. I thought that if I wasn't successful, all I needed was to try harder, do more, and push through. Nowadays, I do the exact opposite because I know that attitude only makes me anxious and hinders my progress. I get sloppy, struggle to make decisions, and see things clearly, and let's face it - it makes me feel miserable.
In the beginning, I struggled a lot with this because I thought being gentle was going to slow me down. But I was so wrong! It set me up for healthy and sustainable success.
So, don't be afraid to be gentle with yourself. Notice where you're hard on yourself and the situations or tasks where you've been pushing through without any results, and ask yourself: "If I were to bring more gentleness to this, what would I do?"
I feel like this question will tell you everything you need to know to deal with the anxiety that comes with courageously chasing your incredible big goals.
Now it's time to pursue them with ease! Remember to create space for your feelings to manifest and find release, and make plenty of room for a fulfilling life outside your achievements. You got this!
Love,
Erika.
Pssst! If you are ready to achieve your big goals with ease and confidence, let’s talk. Book a free Aligned Success Call with me, and we’ll dive into what you need to feel at ease and fired up to make things happen in a way that honors yourself and your needs. Click here to know the details of the call and book your free session.
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