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  • Writer's pictureErika Sardinha

How about allowing yourself to be loved?

I know that a lot of you are looking for love right now. You wonder when is he going to come, or where is she. You question if you are at the right place, with the right people. You look around you and can't help but notice everybody getting engaged or about to get married and having kids. For some of you, looking at happy couples is even painful. "Why never me?"; "When is it going to be my turn?"; "What's wrong with me"? - You ask. My darling, there is nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing. Trust me, I know. You know why? Because we all have some work to do, we all have our stuff, our 'baggage'. So you are as wrong as everyone else. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Do you want to know what's wrong? Not allowing yourself to receive the love you are longing to experience. Have you ever wondered if you are really open to it? Let me tell you a story.

When I was a bit younger, I wanted desperately to be in a relationship. I wanted to know how it was, how does it feel when you are in love with someone and this person loves you back. But since I didn't have good examples growing up, I did not know how did that go. Like, what was I supposed to do with that kind of relationship? So unconsciously, I have decided to get into another type of relationship. The ones I knew. It felt comfortable, with the advantage that everything looked familiar, no surprises. I knew how to point out exactly where it started, where the middle was, and where it ended: with me feeling lonely and abandoned. Again! One day I noticed the pattern that took me back to when I lost sight of my father, to the moment I realised that I was a daddyless daughter. You see, the little girl in me was still trying to fix the situation by dating men who were similar to my father and other father figures I knew. Unfortunately, there was no way of fixing it. I said it before and I'll say it once again: there is no time machine, so looking back and doing the same thing over and over was not going to help me, and it's not helping you either. The answer is right now in the present and right there in your bright future.

Can I ask you again if you are really open to a new relationship, or are you busy recreating patterns and trying to solve issues from the past? If you can relate to the story I just told you, I want you to know that it is time to open your heart, whatever it takes. I'm talking about personal development work, coaching, therapy... Tinder! No jokes here. You deserve to have the relationship of your dreams, and more. You just need to be open to it, ask for it and the Universe will provide, you will see. Let me know how it goes!




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