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  • Writer's pictureErika Sardinha

Am I Enough? How to Overcome the Need for Validation and Embrace Your True Worth

I spent most of my life trying to feel enough. I wanted to be enough for my mother and father, society, friends, partners, jobs, and even my dreams. All I wanted was to get validation that what I did and who I was was enough.

You see, I was a great child. I was fun, creative, empathetic, and so, so clever! But none of that seemed to be good enough for the people around me to treat me with love and respect. So, I grew up thinking that not even my best was good enough. 

Instead of giving up - I was stubborn too - I kept trying to be better, do better, help more, and sacrifice even more to prove I was enough. 

I thought that if I tried harder, they'd acknowledge my efforts and love me. What I didn't know then was that I was already born worthy and enough. And that enoughness is not something we achieve, get, or buy; it's a birthright.  

If people around you can't see it, it's not on you; it's on them. Now, that doesn't excuse you from the responsibility to cultivate the feeling of enoughness within you. And that's the tricky part. 

In this society where you have to achieve and need something palpable to show for it to be acknowledged, we're necessarily not used to feeling worthy enough when we're lying on the couch. 

The thing is, you're as enough when you're doing nothing as you are when you're showing the world your brightest gifts and talents. 

Enoughness is not conditional. You are enough as you are right now, and you'll always be. In all honesty, though, it took me ages to get it. 

I over-gave, over-delivered, people-pleased my way out of conflicts, stayed in places, and hung out with people I had no business being around until I couldn't take it anymore and realized I was the one treating myself like I wasn't enough and allowing people to do the same.

So, I started asking: what would I do if I thought I was enough? Who would I be with? What habits, actions, and behaviors would I have? The answers to these questions were revealing and enlightening. And that's where real change started to occur. 

Yes, I was sad to know I wasn't honoring myself, and it frustrated me to realize the people who abused me planted in me this crazy idea that I wasn't good enough, and now it was MY job to fix it. It wasn't fair, but I had two options: take that a-ha moment and live in misery, blaming my abusers forever, or take my power back and show them how it's done! 

I chose option number two.

Funny enough, the more I treated myself like the born-in-enoughness being that I was, the more people around me followed the lead or naturally distanced, and life kept getting better and better! I got familiar with the idea that I am enough, always, and even though I occasionally need a reminder, I know I am enough.

And I hope you know you are enough, and that's a fact. 

Lots of love,



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