If someone told me seven years ago that I would get to this point in my life, I would never, ever believe them. By then, I was broke, broken, and completely hopeless. I felt like life was always ahead of me, and I had no control whatsoever. Luckily, shortly after yet another rock bottom, I bumped into yoga by 'accident,' started watching old Oprah episodes, and joined the 21-day meditation challenge by Oprah and Deepak Chopra.
"There has got to be another way," I thought, after noticing slight differences in my body and mind.
That's when I did the right thing to do: I googled "how to be happy." I sure have some laughs about it now, and please, go ahead and laugh with me, but this was what propelled me into change and a new state of hope. All these 'accidental' moments carried me to where I am now: A healed woman.
I would be lying if I said it all went smoothly from there. It took me around six years to be where I am now, and I believe I still have a long way to grow. Healing wasn't linear, so I had the time to learn some things on my journey and in my practice as a healing and wellness coach.
Sit down tight. We'll talk about the three things people don't tell you about a healing journey.
You are going to need grounding practices to support you throughout the process.
If it wasn't for yoga and then meditation, I believe I would never have the mind space to even think about healing from my past trauma. Yoga and meditation helped calm my mind and body when I didn't have the tools to do it myself. Once I felt calm, I was able to listen to myself and my soul, and my soul was craving healing.
Later in my journey, I realized those practices helped me deal with the ups and downs and the frustrations of a healing journey that otherwise I'd struggle to cope with.
My advice here is not: "go do yoga and meditate," it's more of a "find a practice that you like and can commit to, to help you stay grounded and balance your feeling and emotions." I recently found tapping to be an amazing tool and practice, and it has been doing wonders in helping me release and process my emotions. Why not start there?
2. Eventually, you will have to put the books down and start applying the lessons in "real life."
Reading all the books won't help you if you don't apply anything you've learned. I've been there too. I would grab a book, do the exercises on paper, journal, think about it, and then move on to the next book. I would find another stream of thoughts, or maybe the exact same thing as the previous book, but in different words.
Don't get me wrong; I love books. Especially self-improvement books. But, and there is a big but here! "The secret" is to read, assimilate, take what serves you, put it down, and then go ahead and apply it in your life. That's where change happens.
What have you recently learned that you'll apply from now on?
3. You are never done, done.
I remember once having a conversation online and saying something like: the journey is never over. I noticed people don't like that sentence or concept, but please entertain me for a bit. I promise it will save you a lot of pain.
You and I have been through trauma. What someone has done to us left a scar and layers and waves of consequences in our body, mind, and soul.
When we start healing, we start peeling those layers that go so deep, and the whole process takes undefined time. Yes, you will see tremendous changes, and you will be over with certain things, and you WILL be happy.
Most importantly, you will navigate life with a set of tools that will help you deal with anything that comes your way.
Because you know you're never 'done,' you are humbled and walk relaxed with no need to rush things or be too hard on yourself. You accept life as it is. Beautiful and full of surprises. Some good ones, and well, some interesting ones may appear uninvited. And for that, you have the tools you learn along the way.
"It's all about the journey, not the destination."
Extra tip: If you find the right person to help you, you will probably heal faster, and the journey will run smoother.
I believe it would be irresponsible of me to throw at you all the warnings and advice and not tell you that, one: asking for help is okay and very often necessary. And two: If you get adequate support, it will be much easier and lighter!
At the beginning of my journey, I was determined to "be my own saviour." I was so hard on myself that I went from blaming everyone to putting all the weight and responsibility on myself. Asking for help was not an option at all. To be honest, I did not have the openness or the funds. I'm not going to lie: it worked. I made tremendous progress and healed deep scars in the process. I did all by myself until my father's passing in 2020.
When I suddenly lost my father, I refused to go through this painful moment completely alone. In session two or three, my therapist helped unpack the pain, and I started feeling myself again. Hope took over me, and more healing was made during an insanely short period of time. I kept working with her for another couple of months until I had the tools to continue. She trusted I'd use them, and I sure did.
Now I work with a coach to help me push myself to the next level, and what a difference it makes!
Can you do everything by yourself? Maybe. But why should you?
Beautiful soul, after everything you've been through, you deserve healing and peace. Remember that you are going on a personal journey with no end date. Take your time, and practice on the field. And always, always ask for help if it feels overwhelming. You don't have to do this alone.
Love and light,
Your healing and wellness coach.