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  • Writer's pictureErika Sardinha

10 Tools to Face the Pain (Before it's too late)

If there is one thing that my personal development journey has done for me, is to help me point out my feelings and sensations of uneasiness before they turn into something bigger. You see, we always know when something is wrong, but sometimes we decide to deny it, hide it away and bury it where we think no one will find it. At times it's just more comfortable to walk through life ignoring our emotions instead of facing them. Sure it's tempting, but I have learned the hard way that you can not be that avoiding. Eventually, we all have to face whatever is causing us to hurt. We can either do this now or later, but trust me: the time will come. The thing is, the more you postpone it, the more difficult and painful is going to be, and I don't want you to wait until things get too hurtful for you to handle.

We do a lot of crazy stuff when we are hurting. We sabotage ourselves, our relationships and happiness. We don't take risks because "what's the point?" and feelings of unworthiness invade us. We also repeat a specific pattern when we hurt. What's yours? Do you become more aggressive? Do you shut down (raising my hand here!)? Do you allow people to have poor behaviour towards yourself (rasing my hand again! )? Do you hurt yourself, mentally and or physically?

Once you know what's up, there is only one way to go: You have to face the situation. Let me tell you about 10 things you can do to deal with the pain before it's too late:

  1. Allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling. Cry if you have to, scream at your pillow if you like, but let it all out.

  2. Keep a journal where you write down your feelings and emotions and read it after, to gain some perspective.

  3. Arrange a "letting go" ceremony every time you need to let go of a person, a situation or a thing. Write down on a piece of paper what is it that you need to let go of and then burn it or throw it way.

  4. Practice Gratitude every day when you wake up, and when you go to sleep. Simply think about what you are grateful for in your life. You can create a mental list, or write it down. Gratitude journals are the best!

  5. Talk to a close friend about the issue. I'm sure you will feel lighter after the conversation.

  6. Stop talking about the problem. I know I'm contradicting myself here but sometimes we are reliving the situation over and over and that doesn't help anyone. If you spoke about it ten thousand times multiplied by ten, it is time to arrange that letting go ceremony I told you about in point number 3.

  7. Do something. Okay, you know the issue. Now what? It is time to act. I know you know what you need to do, so do it. If you need guidance and support in your journey, you can always hire a coach to help you out.

  8. Meditate and practice silence. Meditation will calm your mind and allow you to think more clearly. Meditating will reduce your stress levels and boost your mood. Moments of silence can be painful but also helpful to when it comes to allowing ourselves to feel and let go.

  9. Practice Yoga. The benefits of this practice don't fit in this blog post, but I'll tell you this: Yoga is the union between mind, body and soul. To sort out any inner problem, you will have to look inwards. Yoga helps you with that. And it calms you down, facilitates meditation and teaches you how to be kind and patient with yourself. Think about it.

  10. Seek professional help. I have mentioned coaching before, but a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or Psychoanalyst can also be what you need, depending on the issue you are facing. Remember: Not all the professionals will be a good fit for you. Do not give up until you find the one that suits you.

I hope this helps!




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